“And what am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up and you’re OK?”
Ever wondered why they’ve moved on whilst you’re still grieving? Heartbreak doesn’t discriminate, however, we all deal with that pain and grieve differently, as family mediator Jack Ellis, explains.
For the person who initiates the breakup/separation, they’ve done a lot of the grieving in the lead up to initiating it.
“The partner who initiated the end of a relationship typically experiences a breakup as a kind of relief,” Jack says. “For the other partner, however, they’re thrown into a roller coaster of grief after the breakup,” he adds.
The family mediator advises that if you’re the one who initiated the breakup, show compassion and understanding, as conflict can be decreased by understanding that you’re both at different stages in the cycle of grief. The more compassionate and understanding you can be, the quicker both of you will be able to move on.
This is what you can do to help you move on, according to dating and relationship expert Rachel Russo:
Rachel advises that friends of recently heartbroken people should try to get them out of their house. However, this is not possible during lockdown. The alternative is to check in regularly via video calls or even virtual hangouts with a group of friends and loved ones.
Rachel expresses that it’s also okay to give yourself time to grieve and process. Take your time.
After grieving, start learning how to move on – whether you focus on work, dating other people (in a healthy manner), or picking up a hobby. These can all be good distractions to ensure you do not contact your ex, as contacting your ex can lead to a downward spiral and interrupt your healing process.